Digital Mom: Sticky Situation of The Month*
The other day I received a Facebook friend request from a name I did not recognize. Not unusual, for friends of friends do ask sometimes, so I did what I always do: I clicked on the person’s photo to see her profile and if we had any mutual friends.
Lo and behold, I recognized the face in the photo and it turns out the request had come from a child in my son’s class. My son’s 5th grade class. From an 11-year-old. An 11-year-old girl using a fake name on Facebook.
Perhaps this is not giving you pause, but it clearly gave me pause. And then I declined the request.
My pause was not about whether I should accept the request; it was about how this had happened, whether her mother knew it had happened, and how to have the conversations with the girl’s mother and with my kids.
I polled some other moms in the class and it turns out the girl had sent requests to several of us, including to the teacher, and we had all said no. One mom said she didn’t want an 11-year-old classmate of her daughter’s knowing her FB business, and that’s a valid.
The requesting child’s mother, when I questioned her about it all, didn’t seem the least bit worried or upset about it. Wasn’t raising any red flags for her.
Really? An 11-year-old using a fake name? On Facebook? Which has a policy limiting accounts to those 13 and older only (which, by the way seems a little young to me personally, but hey, it’s not my site). That flag is pretty crimson, IMO.
Lessons to be learned from this? I guess it’s about keeping open communication lines with my kids and with other moms in our community. And never say yes to a friend request without clicking on the profile. And that you never know what’s coming next in the 21st Century.
*For those of you old enough, and female enough, to remember Glamour magazine in the 70′s and 80′s, you may recall their Sticky Situation of the Month. It was my favorite feature of the magazine.
Feb 22, 2010 @ 11:58:21
The only thing I can think of as to why this mom would think it’s acceptable is that she’d want other child’s parents and her own teacher to see her FB activity. But I’ve told my own girls, no, they can’t get an FB account until they can play by the rules!
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Feb 22, 2010 @ 12:08:23
Unfortunately, she’s not thinking that way. But thanks for verifying my sense of whether FB is for kids…
Mar 13, 2010 @ 10:25:27
I completely agree its inappropriate, my daughter has been bugging me to get an account cos all her friends have had them for ages. I told her just cos their parents don’t take parental responsibility seriously, and just cos there are lots of people like this doesn’t make it ok. I think it is difficult for youngsters to find a little bit of independence, there is a kids you tube but it is of course not what children of this age strive for which is largely i belive to be recognised in their own right.